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Summer Love

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Summer Love

Post by Ai-Natsu on Sun Jun 14, 2009 7:17 am

Character Name:Ai-Natsu

Desired Bloodline:

Desired Starting Element:Fire


Desired Village:Oto

Age: 16 years of age


Desired Rank: chunnin


Appearance:
Spoiler:
<<just the skin tone and face marking!!

Character Personality: she is very outspoken when she needs to be and very ..Intelligent. Clusmy ,Happy, yet..Depressed

Background Info: Ai-Natsu was born on the red moon of October 31st,her family beleived her to be cursed yet she was treated like a blessing ,when people of her family began to die of an unknown virus,she was tossed out of her home and so she began to learn to live on her own.((when she was 10)the marking she has on her fae where tattooed there at birth

Rp sample: Ai-natsu winced as her stomach growled it protest at eating from the trash bin again she muttered" i know iknow it gross but i cant... she paused midsentence thinkingsteal... as this time she crept to the front of an open store which sold food,she walked into the store skipping lightly into the store as noone really payed attention to teh dirty looking 10 year oldwho looked very sad as she looked at everything when in fact she was sliding a few candy bars up her sleevewith out people noticing,she made it out without getting caught,she went to unwrap the candy bars and eat them,she smiles thinking i should of gotten more food..she grins walking back into the alley way where she lived.


Last edited by Ai-Natsu on Mon Jun 15, 2009 1:48 am; edited 1 time in total

Ai-Natsu

Number of posts : 2

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Re: Summer Love

Post by Anti Osira on Sun Jun 14, 2009 8:22 am

Does the blank next to bloodline mean that you won't have one or are you still pending on approval for a/your clan ?

Also. Denied as of now.

Add more to the personality, since you really don't say anything there.

I'd also like you to add more to the background info since so far it doesn't even seem like she's in a village.

You have a few grammar mistakes and appear to be at war with the spacebar sometimes. Correct that please.

Repost when you're done. I'll look at it again then.
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Anti Osira
Jounin
Jounin

Male Number of posts : 20
Village : Amegakure
Bloodline/Clan : None

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Re: Summer Love

Post by Ai-Natsu on Mon Jun 15, 2009 1:52 am

Character Personality: she is very outspoken when she needs to be and very Awkard aroud others at first shes Intelligent. yet Clusmy Happy go lucky yet sad due to her past.

Background Info: Ai-Natsu was born on the red moon of October 31st,her family beleived her to be cursed yet she was treated like a blessing ,when people of her family began to die of an unknown virus,she was tossed out of her home and so she began to learn to live on her own.She began to dig out living on the streets Of her home village ,Oto.((when she was 10)the marking she has on her face where tattooed there at birth.

Rp sample: Ai-natsu winced as her stomach growled it protest at eating from the trash bin again she muttered" i know iknow it gross but i cant... she paused midsentence thinking steal... as this time she crept to the front of an open store which sold food.
she then walked into the store skipping lightly into the store, as noone really payed attention to the dirty looking 10 year old ,who looked very sad as she looked at everything when in fact she was sliding a few candy bars up her sleeve with out people noticing.
she made it out without getting caught,she went to unwrap the candy bars and eat them,she smiles thinking i should of gotten more food..she grins walking back into the alley way where she lived.

Ai-Natsu

Number of posts : 2

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Re: Summer Love

Post by Anti Osira on Mon Jun 15, 2009 2:14 pm

You really didn't change anything much and you should start to read your posts against before sending them. You have a few grammar and spelling mistakes still.

Correct that as I still don't see it fit for a Chuunin application.
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Anti Osira
Jounin
Jounin

Male Number of posts : 20
Village : Amegakure
Bloodline/Clan : None

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Re: Summer Love

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